Sure, I’d seen ladies in lab coats on the first floor of Bendel’s before, but never someone with a license to wear one. Then I met Simone Gloger, a registered nutritionist with Functionalab, a new line of nutricosmetics (skin-care targeting nutritional supplements) that touts high-quality, potent ingredients that reflect the latest scientific literature. Bonus: the heaping tablespoon of high-design packaging.

In under five minutes, Gloger did a thorough intake on her laptop: my diet, medications, stress management, sleep habits, and skin issues. My Rx: Executive Stress (freelancer writers are not immune!), a 4-week kit loaded with stress-fighting vitamins and herbs, a dozen fantastic antioxidants, fish oils, and immune-supporting minerals—pretty much everything I always mean to take but forget.

My personalized mix of capsules are culled from Functionalab’s many multivitamins, such as Herbal Blend, Mediterranean Diet, Collagen Formula, and Age Defense (all of which are also sold individually). Only the supplements in my Executive Stress kit are seemingly organized by the Library of Congress: by the day of the week, then into two a.m. and p.m. doses of four pills each. “The great ingredients don’t do much for your health if you never remember to take them,” says Gloger.

The takeaway: With guidance like this, I’ll never wander the health-food store vitamin aisle to the sound of crickets chirping again.

Functionalab personalized nutrition program $120-200 at Henri Bendel, 712 Fifth Ave., at 56th St., functionalab.com

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